I have a special, special gift. If I were one of the X-Men, maybe I could use this particular gift to fight crime or people in wheelchairs or whatever it is exactly that the X-Men do (I don�t know that much about them, sorry). My special gift is the ability to faint. I know lots of people who have never, ever passed out in their lives. I pass out all the time. I don�t mean, �oh my corset is too tight and my life is too much to bear� Scarlet O�Hara type swooning. I�m just talking like �oh I�m sort of stupid and I forget to eat breakfast about 100% of the time, and then I get too hot in crowded places, or maybe hit my elbow/ankle, and then lose consciousness.�

So I compiled a list of some of the times that I�ve fainted, and here they are, in order of least interesting to most interesting:

• Giving Blood 1994 - I was so excited that year because it was the first year ever that I was old enough to give blood and I wanted to help my fellow man. Never again. I was kind of sick anyway, and of course all I had in my stomach was the one tiny measley cookie that they give you, so I�m laying there on the gurney, hooked up to the blood extraction machine, when suddenly I start feeling funky, and the lady sees that I am feeling funky, and tips the chair backwards so that the blood can rush back to my head. But she does this a little too late.



• At the Hospital - My great-grandma was about to be released from the hospital, so we went to see her. Apparently my stomach was not as strong as I believed it to be, because when they took her IV out, I watched, and I passed out immediately. I don�t really remember feeling weird or seeing spots, I just remember waking up in the hallway in a wheelchair and being confused.



• Super Saver - I think I was about 8 or so, and I was in the city with my mom and my oldest sister. I was wearing a pink polo shirt, a denim skirt, and some shoes with very slick bottoms. We were at Super Saver, which was one of those super bargain discount buy-it-in-bulk type warehouses with concrete floors. I guess I slipped, or stepped wrong, I don�t know, but I must have turned my ankle. I was okay for a minute, but then the little flashy spots started appearing in my peripheral vision and they started moving inward..and then I was gone. Fortunately mommy caught me and I avoided a concussion.



• Wrestling with Lindy - Lindy and I were grappling on the bed, which happened to be pushed up against the wall. She was probably trying to put me in a small package, and as I squirmed and writhed away from her, I managed to slam my elbow up against the wall. I felt a little dazed and told Lindy that I thought I was going to pass out, and she ridiculed me, claiming it was a cop-out. But I really felt it coming, and since I was already on a nice, soft, comfy bed, I just laid down for a second, fainted, and got back up again, ready to fight some more. Lindy never believed me that I really passed out. But I swear I did.



• Church with Maria - It was hot, I hadn�t had breakfast, and Maria and I were late to church. So this meant that we had to go try to find seats up in the choir loft, but there weren�t any, so we had to stand. This all added up to disaster for me. I was fine for the first 20 minutes or so, and then I had to sit down on the ground for a while because my head was swimming. I just felt like total crap, and I finally motioned to Maria that I had to go outside for some air. She followed me down the stairs, or I should say stair, because I fainted at the top of the stairs. Luckily she kind of put her hand on my shoulder and kind of sat me down, so I didn�t tumble down the stairs or anything. I finally got my legs under me, and made it outside. Some nice guy had followed us to check on me, and offered to go get me a cold rag. I said, �Yes, thank you. And if it�s not too much to ask, would you sprinkle some holy water on it, too?�



• Hitting My Ankle on the TV - I was trying to show off, and I was doing a bunch of cartwheels in the living room to try to block everyone�s view of the TV. Well, apparently I misjudged my distance from the television set, and managed to hit my ankle on it. It hurt. Bad. But I tried to laugh it off, because everyone else was laughing at me, so I thought I�d join in. Then I went to go duck around the corner and cry, but I never quite made it to the corner.



• Fourth Grade Class - My desk was at the front of the room, right next to Matt Miller�s. The boy who sat behind me was really annoying (Eric Weinheimer � we called him �Eric Hineywiper�) and he was pushing his desk up really close behind me in order to pin me so I could not move or scoot my seat away from my desk. I turned around to tell him to stop, and caught the edge of his desk full-force with my funny bone. It was a certified stinger. I turned to Matt to request some medical attention and reached out for him, and he thought I was reaching over to borrow a pencil. So he�s holding his pencil out to me as I lean, and lean and lean some more, and finally fall out of my chair and hit the ground. The boys in the back of the room saw the whole thing go down, and once I hit the ground, they started counting me out: �One� Two� Three� She�s out!�



• The Corsicana Trailer Incident - My sister Staci and I were visiting my sister Kim at her trailer. It was summer. We were in a trailer. It was hot. I couldn�t see to curl the back of my hair, so Kim was helping me do my hair in the bathroom. Oh, and did I mention I hadn�t eaten breakfast? And that it was hot, and that two people in bathroom with a curling iron only makes things hotter? I started feeling funky, and I could see in the mirror that my lips were turning white, so I said to Kim: �Kim? I think I�m gonna pass oouuu�� at which point I lose consciousness. Kim has to make a split second decision: should she try to catch me and in all likelihood burn me in the process? Or should she just get the hot curling iron away from my head and let me fall? She chose B. So I fall, hitting my head on the bathtub (in Kim�s defense, it was not a porcelain bathtub. It was trailer house plastic). Remember how before at Super Saver my mom saved me from a concussion? I was not so lucky this time. I came to, and my head hurt, but I was okay. Kim decided I MUST have some breakfast before we left for Waco. She made me eggs. Then apparently I felt good enough to go on our little day trip. A few hours later, I wasn�t feeling so hot. We went to eat at Fuddrucker�s and the sight and smell of all that raw was not good for me. I decided I needed to vomit. Me and my two sisters made a beeline for the bathroom, and right as we made it to the door of the bathroom, I puked all over Staci�s leg. Vomiting after bump to the head = certified concussion!!! I was concussed!!!

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