My archaeological dig has taken longer than expected. Apparently there is no way to cut and paste text from a DOS-based computer from the 80s to another computer, so I have been manually typing a lot lately. Additionally, there is no mouse on the XT and I'm having to do a quasi-archeological dig of my brain to remember all these confounded keystroke commands.

One of the floppy disks in the disk carousel was labeled "Easywriter." This was the first word processing software I ever used. The first gem I'd like to share was a file of brief book reports that I turned in when I was roughly 8 years old. And when I say "brief", holy crap...two sentences? Anyway:

• "Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub" 115 pages by Margaret Fuller
  Room 204 has a substitute teacher. The students have a contest to see who can "sink the sub" first, boys against girls. But in the end, the sub sinks them!



• "Socks" 92 pages by Beverly Cleary
  A kitten is sold to a newlywed couple. But when a furless, crying creature takes over the household, how will Socks get his attention back?



• "Henry and the Clubhouse" 192 pages by Beverly Clearly
  Henry builds a clubhouse and doesn�t let Beezus or Ramona be part of it. When Henry apologizes, Beezus has to be in the club to forgive him. Girls!



• "Blackmailed by Taffy Sinclair" 115 pages by Pam McNeil
  A girl named Janie is caught with a teacher�s stolen wallet. Either she gets in big trouble or she has to be Taffy�s personal slave!



• "Mary Lou Retton" 62 pages by Gary Poole
  This book tells all about Retton�s active life, including her Olympic competition.

Wow, eight-year-old Halee. You certainly didn't mince words with that Mary Lou Retton biographical summary! (Or provide one nanogram of detail. You better have received a check minus for that one...)

Oh, and eight-year-old Halee? Why in the FUCK did you read a fucking book about a cat???? Twenty-eight-year-old Halee is hereby giving you an F minus for that one...

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