Halee�s Latest Greatest Idea, Take II

Something that everyone should give some thought to is what their gimmick would be if they were a professional wrestler. As of late, I have given this a lot of thought. I mean, a LOT of thought. I haven�t settled on my character�s name, but here are the details that I have worked out:

Gimmick:

• My gimmick is that I am a female truck driver. My first idea for a name was something like "Maxine Overdrive," but I�m not entirely happy with that.



• I�ll come to the ring wearing tight black pants that ride kind of low so I can show off my midriff. I�ll have some snakeskin wrestling boots, and I�ll always wear t-shirts with the sleeves cut off, usually tied up in a knot (again, to show off my midriff). All these t-shirts, of course, will look like ones you can buy at the truck stop. You know, the ones that are black and have a coyote howling at the moon, or the profile of an Indian chief or something like that. And I will also require some Harley Davidson shirts, and a Peterbuilt one would be good, too. And I will always come out with those big bug-eyed Axl Rose-looking sunglasses on.



• I�ll always be talking like I�m on the CB. So when I come out to call a match alongside Michael Cole, I�ll say something like, "No, I don�t think I�ll be doing any run-ins tonight, Micheal 0-Niner...over."� In my interviews, I�ll shoot like, "He�s going to get a smokey blown up his ass at No Mercy! ...over. And when the interview is finished, I�ll always go, "Over and out!"



• My little hand signal thingie will be the thing where I pull down like I�m honking the big truck horn...and the crowd will go, "Honk! Honk!" and go generally nuts.

Entrance Music/Video:

• Okay, so my entrance music should definitely start with a horn and a truck engine revving. Past that, I don�t really care. Maybe something like "I�m Drivin� My Life Away," but with a little umph to it. Like get Fozzy Osbourne to do a cover of it or something.



• My video (besides the usual greatest hits of me and all my devastating manuevers) will have lots of shots of me behind the wheel at night, my face all illuminated by the dashboard lights. And putting diesel in the rig, etc.



• My pyrotechnics will be a bunch of road flares alongside the ramp.

Finishing Moves:

Oh, oh, this is where it gets so, so good!!! It seems like lots of wrestlers have two finishing moves, and I will be no different:

1. First is my impact manuever, which will be a modified swinging neck breaker that I will call the "Breaker Breaker 1-9."



2. Oh, this is the best ever. A while back I watched this great video I have of lots of classic VonErich matches, and I fell in love with this submission hold that Kabuki and the Magic Dragon did....the armpit clamp. I have to give Kim credit on this one, she thought it up...but I should be the one to reintroduce the manuever. It will be the double armpit claw, which I will call....the "Pit Stop!!!!!!" God, isn�t that so fucking rad?

I am currently still training, and I need to bulk up a little bit, plus actually learn how to wrestle, and I should be making my WWF debut by the time I move back into the states in about 2 years. Unbeknownst to many, the whole reason I moved to Australia is because I am in intensive training with The Bushwhackers.

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