[new] [old] [e-mail] [profile] [diaryland]
2003-10-21

Picture it...last night. 12:30. I had been asleep in my bed for an hour or two, and woke up for no apparent reason to find that I was 1000% awake, and rip-roaring ready to go and start my day.

Side note #1: I was wearing my patented sleeping gear which consists of a slip that is supposed to be worn like a skirt with elastic at the waist, only I hitch it up under my arms and wear it like a strapless Marge/Lisa Simpson dress. It is satin. This will be relevant in a minute.

Side note #2: I was trying to figure out why the hell I woke up, because I was dead-ass tired yesterday and needed the sleep. I decided to go pee, and hope that an empty bladder would induce sleep.

Side note #3: Ever since I was a little kid, I've had the habit of literally diving into bed. This typically takes the form of some sort of running belly or side slide, with me landing with my head on the pillow.

So upon my return from the bathroom in the pitch dark, I dove. Only...I miscalculated exactly where I was, and I must have grossly miscalculated the viscosity between my satin nightgown and my bedspread.

Meaning...I slid completely across the foot of my bed just like a Duke boy sliding across the hood of the General Lee.

And landed on my ass on the floor.

And I still don't know how.


<<prev - next>>